What to Do When Aging Parents Don’t Listen

12 Feb, 2018

According to a recent research by Penn State University and the Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, 77 percent of older children perceive their parents to be stubborn when it comes down to them taking advice or assistance from their children over day to day matters. Watching your aging parents make the wrong decisions or decline your help or support when they need it the most is a painful task.

Whenever an argument arises between older children and their aging parents, it is important to realize everyone has certain things that are not as easy to let go of. Senior citizens fear to lose their independence and willpower whereas children are worried about providing appropriate care and fulfilling their obligations towards their parents. With age, the cognitive function of senior citizens tends to decline, leading them to develop diseases such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. It is natural for children to become worried and look for facilities that offer exceptional dementia care or memory care for seniors. However, parents disregard such concerns and begin to argue whenever they are raised. In such situations, it gets easy for things to get out of hand.
If you, too, have aging parents who refuse to listen to you, here are a few tips that you need to follow to effectively deal with such situations:

1. Remain Persistent

Keep in mind that nothing can be resolved in a single sitting, therefore, you need to remain persistent in raising your concerns at the appropriate times in front of your parents. Endure patiently and keep reminding them of your concerns in a gentle manner, as they are soon going to realize that you were right.

2. Keep Power Struggles at Bay

Never push your parents into doing something and avoid nagging them on constant basis. Giving ultimatums is only going to make your parents even more stubborn, making the situation worse. Yelling and arguing is only going to harm your relationship further, so make sure to avoid all such power struggles!

3. Avoid Constant Criticism and Be Sensitive When Conversing With Them

Constant criticism is bound to make your parents defensive. There is no benefit in talking bluntly, as this is only going to push them away. No matter how good your intentions may be, you need to convey your message in a gentle and loving manner.

4. Bring Up Tricky Conversations At the Right Time

Adult children are advised to have tricky conversations on particular days when their parents are in a calm and relaxed state of mind. Having such conversations on days when your parents are feeling upset or anxious is bound to bring a negative response from their side. The same rule applies to the children as well – if you are feeling stressed, it is best to avoid any such conversations.

5. Remain Calm

Your parents are as much aware of the fact that their physical or mental health is declining with age as you are, therefore, you do not always have to remind them of such things. You need to state all your concerns in a calm and affectionate manner, enabling them to take in the information in a positive manner.

6. Spend Adequate Time with Them

You may not have enough time on your hands, however, it is essential to spend some quality time with your parents. As they age, they are likely to appreciate the time, attention and affection you will be giving to them. Moreover, this will also allow you to build a stronger connection with them, making your interactions with them even more harmonious.

7. Find the Right Solutions

If your parents, for example, are not willing to go to a nursing home, then you need to come up with a proper solution instead of yelling, arguing or going for a quick fix. Do your own research to find the best senior living communities and nursing homes that offer exceptional care and facilities. Then take your parents for a lunch to those places and see if they like any one of them.